Drowning

When you're drowning, can't breathe, can't see, can't hear over the water sloshing around your head, you'll grasp at any rope, listen for any voice, even when they belong to the enemy.  You'll crawl to the top, grateful to him for saving your life.

And you would be right to do so.  To see the humanity of your savior when all around you see evil and long suffering. 

It's okay to be gracious.  It's okay to be grateful.  It's just not okay when the savior uses that to make you something you're not.  You're grateful, after all.

But what if the savior planned it all along.  What if he pushed you into the churning water to begin with.  When you were vulnerable with your back turned, daydreaming to the sounds of peace around you.  And he comes along and silently pushes you off.  Later, he convinces you that your daydreaming caused you to be careless and you slipped. 

But he was here to help.  He could make you better. 

How does one come to BE an abused wife?  Do we choose this life?

On purpose?

How does one come to be sleeping with the enemy?